Tarot Reading: Focus Up!
This reading is connected to my September 2023 newsletter.
This is my birthday tarot reading. I do one every year.
I set my intention for this reading for myself, but I also asked for wisdom to share outwards to you all.
So, I will start with what they are telling me and then broaden the message through questions.
First, if you would like to read a bit about my Enochian cards and my perspective on tarot, you can look at my first newsletter reading I did in August.
My reading is divided into three categories.
Theme. Challenges. Wisdom.
A looping gif of the purity chalice from Sailor Moon opens and spills light. This references the King of Water’s golden cup of creative energy.
The theme for my next year of life:
59. RAAGIOSL(rah-ah-gee-oh-sel) The King of Water
On an orange fabric background with cream colored ornate brocade flourishes is a blue and white Enochian tarot card. A blue-skinned figure in a long flowing blue robe is the King of Water. He holds a golden cup and stands in knee deep water.
The 59. is where the card sits in the overall order of the cards. It’s the 59th card in the stack. RAAGIOSL is the name of the King of Water.
RAAGIOSL rules the Watchtower of Water in Enochian magick. He has masculine energy and the energy of creativity.
The words associated with this card are creation, reflection, feeling, a long life, sympathy.
Quite a good theme if you ask me.
The message itself does not feel like new information but rather a reflection of my intention for this year. I’m moving from a lifepath one year to a life path eleven (or two) year. Eleven is the most sacred number in numerology. It’s why we wish on 11:11.
I’m moving from 28, a year of leadership (one), to 29, a year of spiritual development (eleven).
In my spiritual development, I hope to be a reflection or refraction of divine creative energy.
It is of RAAGIOSL’s nature to make things. “He seeks, through life-giving creativity, to reduce infinite spiritual ideas into finite forms.” I’m also seeking to take my very expansive creative energy and focus it on two singular projects: my novel and my short film.
That’s what this year is about: focusing my energy.
As I’ve said before, I’m very ADHD, and for a long time, that has gone ignored and untreated. I’ve only recently started medication, and it’s been supportive. My ADHD connects to my second card.
Looping gif of a nondescript vintage anime character holding a dewy, sparkling rose. This references the rose of the first senior of air.
The challenge for my next year of life:
46. HABIORO (Ha-Bee-Oh-RO) First Senior of Air (Inverted)
On an orange fabric background with cream-colored ornate brocade flourishes is an Enochian tarot card with a portrait of a tan-skinned angel with short blonde hair flowing in the wind. He has a smile and holds a rose and a golden staff. His angel wings are on the smaller side, and he wears an amber garment with clouds flowing around him.
46. represents this card’s place in the order. It is the 46th card. The First Senior of Air denotes this angel’s rank, First Fenior, and his elemental watchtower, air.
Rightside up, this is a card of passionate love and courageous action, but inverted, the words are discouragement, inept action, and lack of commitment.
My perfectionism keeps me from working on my projects. I discourage myself because I don’t think I’m good enough to accomplish my lofty aspirations. Rejections from programs, grants, fellowships, etc., are, of course, also discouraging, and I’ve already faced a few key rejections that have left me without the supportive structure I hoped for in this year. That means I am left almost entirely to my own devices, my own resources, my own focus.
A lack of commitment is certainly a manifestation of ADHD’s lack of focus.
I am full of dreams.
I radiate new ideas. It doesn’t take much for me to summon a whole character from a single article of clothing or a world from a short nerdy factoid about biology.
Discouragement courses through me when I’m not getting the awards and accolades I see others get. But then I must ask myself, what have you finished?
You have no awards because you have no finished projects.
To not show my creativity commitment is to not show it love.
Let me love my works forever. Let me love my work to completion.
I need to find collaborators that are finishers.
It’s time to try something new.
A looping gift of a vintage anime sunset with an anime character dressed in 80s clothes next to a moped. Everything sways in the breeze. This references the sun in the NTTM card.
My wisdom for this next year:
68. NTTM (Neh-teh-tem)Kerubic Angels of Water
On an orange fabric background with cream-colored ornate brocade flourishes is an Enochian card with an orange sunrise cresting over sandy yellow dunes and reflecting orange and pink light on a deep blue sea.
The 68. is where the card itself sits in the overall order. It’s the 68th card in the stack. NTTM is the Enochian name of the region. The bottom tells us the name of the leader or main force of the region. Here, the “Kerubic Angels of Water” refers to the main kind of beings that live there.
I also pulled this card in my first newsletter reading, but in that first reading it was inverted!
Messages about cycles seem to really want me to listen.
NTTM is about natural cycles like the sun rising over the horizon to banish the darkness.
Its associative words are cyclic change, renewal, unification, a new beginning, life over death.
When I pulled this card, I did not feel an esoteric message or a poetic pondering of life and death.
The message came through clear and practical.
I must embrace discipline. I have to create a routine for myself and make a new commitment to my creative career.
My rising must be as reliable as the sun and as dedicated as her warmth.
Today (9/26) is actually the first day I am trying my routine, and so far, it’s going well.
If I mess up my routine, I can’t fall into discouragement. I must renew myself and try again. Learn from what didn’t work and adapt.
Routine is scary to my freedom-loving self. It’s one of the biggest reasons I risk the instability of working for myself so I can move as I want to.
But this routine is my choice, and I’ve also built variance and choice into the structure so that I can follow my desire. Perhaps trick my stubborn and distractable brain into productivity.
I believe in my ability to take these projects to term–to birth new worlds.
A looping gif of an anime girl growing a new world as sprouting plants from white nothingness.
Here are questions for your reflection based on this reading.
Before your exploration, we (my Realm of Beings and I) ask that you start with protection:
“I am safe and secure throughout all existence. My attention and energy only call what is of the highest good for myself.”
What am I trying to create? Is there something I have started that I haven’t finished yet?
Should it be created? Why or why not?
What is keeping me from accomplishing that creation?
Why is that keeping me from accomplishing that creation?
What can you do for yourself to minimize that challenge or obstacle?
How can I break down a complex goal or challenge in my life into small, attainable steps?
What are you feeding yourself and refracting back into the world around you?
Who in your life can support you in the completion of your creation?
What’s something scary that you haven’t tried that would be supportive to you? Why haven’t you tried it? Can you find counterpoints to your fears?
Should you start a new routine? Why? What would it look like?
What would encourage you to stick to that new routine?
What can you do today to remind yourself that you create your reality?
What can you do to prepare yourself for your new cycle?